| | put my hands up
they're playin' my song
you know I'm gonna be OK
I had forgotten how emotionally draining blogging about big tumultuous life events is. Getting out the last two blogs pretty much made me want to curl up in a ball in bed and never get out. Maybe THAT'S why I've abandoned this place for 140 characters and status updates, so I just don't have to dig deep. I honestly don't know where I am going to get the energy and the clarity to sort out and finish the story.
Stop thinking of it like a story, I hear Mike say in my head it's not a story, it's your life, it doesn't go in a box.
On the other hand, Mike also always tells me that I need to just be done sometimes, that I don't need to constantly re-live and re-visit until I make myself sick.
That I can just let go.
Maybe both are right. Maybe this is a story that's finished for me.
What I do know is that I've cried every day for a week and I am just so tired and I want to be done, I want to let go. And I don't want think about Wes on his way to a fantastic, romantic, perfect weekend with his girlfriend (must be nice, I think bitterly, miserably, to have a boyfriend that can stay out past midnight to be with you, I never had that from him.) ... and I want a better answer for when one of the nice women from another department at work asks me about how my "sweetheart" in Mississippi and when will everyone get to meet him besides the word, "Uhm."
What I do know is that I don't want to cry any more.
I think I just want to turn up Miley Cyrus's moronic auto-tuned beyond human voice song and eat some ice cream.
Somewhere, someone is playing my song.
And you know I'm gonna be OK.
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| | Posted 11/6/2009 11:28 PM - 37 Views - 8 eProps - 3 comments
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